What is your melody in this space and time?

talking to myself . . . diary entry

Sometimes I let time slide Sometimes it passes me by Some times it looks straight in to my eyes and I get a glint of my life as if the clock never was ticking along with the beat of my heart; the perception of time is so different I recall one day, in the university's auditorium, it was during a psychology lecture.

The experiment was to count a minute inside our heads without looking at the clock, sixty seconds and when we stopped counting we would raise our hand, inform the rest of us that 60 seconds had passed us by, the professor would count as well and a student would keep the time, tell us if we were right or wrong according to the predestined time rhythm, no music can exist other that in time an end and a beginning and the precious intervals, the speed or the lack of movement but still . . . anyway.

Most of the students raised their hand at the same second some hesitant ones raised their hand after a second although they didn't felt that 60 seconds had passed us by, well isn't that a minor mirroring of our society? I took me a split second or two; I have left the culture of anxiety and counted in a way that felt harmonious, in synch with me. I raised my hand when it was time and later on the professor mentioned that some cultures had their own perception of time.

Oh well I understood. I was happy for that, the fact that I do not belong in the world of many depended wills. It is what it is. What is the sound of eternity if not the sound withdrawal? Oh well I do not know.

Right now happiness feels like a game of golf. First of all - find and learn how to use and what to expect from your tools - calculate the distance feel the wind but do watch the weather forecast that is probably false but you‘ve got to hope for the best and you ‘ve got the map, no surprises there anyway find a way to target your will and feel the thrill while you aim for the hole while you hold your breath ready to scream and jump up and down: Hole in One!!! Ho ho Ho! The invisible eagle and if not try once again this time it is a visible eagle. Take your chance and if not hey time to become abstract try to capture the birdie and if not what the heck aim for a par, par that means couple in Swedish and then, if you still miss the hole don't frown try once again and file for a divorce or two or aim for a bogey and if not you can also dance boogie woogie but if you still want to, keep trying otherwise you will not able to move on Or skip the darn hole!